when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
