I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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