Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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