All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
