A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
