Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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