If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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