Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
