i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
