I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
