what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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