you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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