To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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