I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
