Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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