I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
