So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's blow job season.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
