Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Randomize
