You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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