I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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