totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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