we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
