So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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