what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize