Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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