Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.

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(206): View more from Washington

you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway

(925): View more from California

I hate that you know that from experience

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(817): View more from Texas

It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.

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(253): View more from Washington

they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

next time we drink: battle shots.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.

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(516): View more from New York

Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.

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(713): View more from Texas

Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.

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(206): View more from Washington

You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)

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