I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
