I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
