11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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