Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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