I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
