I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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