Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
