I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
