evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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