So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
