Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
