I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize