I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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