she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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