Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
