We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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