My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize