So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize