we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
