she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
