Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
