"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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