I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
