i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
