I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
