you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
