time to smoke my breakfast
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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