All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
