walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
