he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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