I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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