doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Betty ford says i'm here all night
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
