Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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