Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
