around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My dick has a subreddit
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
