is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
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