this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
