im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize