Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize