We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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